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10 solutii pentru a-mi respecta hotararile


  1. Specificand exact ce vreau: ce, cine, unde, cat, cand anume etc.
  2. Facand angajamente serioase si flexibile
  3. Construind si implementand solutii si planuri de siguranta
  4. Transformand abandonul in pauza
  5. Amuzandu-ma si in etapele de stangacie
  6. Intelegand in sfarsit ca esecul, greselile, vinovatia si imperfectiunile arata de fapt lucrul cel mai important: lucrez si invat
  7. Povestindu-mi istorii care ma inspira si incurajeaza Ė cat mai multe. Pot fi pesimist pe termen scurt si optimist pe termen lung
  8. Facandu-mi timp, nu doar gasindu-l / inventand ocazii, nu scuze. Kaizen: cate un pic in fiecare zi Ė pana cand devine o rutina, un obicei, un reflex, (p)arte din peisajul si din status quo-ul meu interior: mecanisme pe care daca vreau sa schimb ceva trebuie sa le opresc, nu sa le pornesc - drumul spre spontaneitate trece si prin asumarea mecanicii
  9. Utilizand un sistem de evidenta si amintire a ce am (de) facut si invatat - peste 95% din oameni ignora puterea creionului si hartiei
  10. Lucrand impreuna cu un prieten Ė sinergia si impartasirea nu vor mai fi doar lozinci


    Resolutions that stick


    To follow through with the goals you set for yourself this New Year, you must change your attitude and behavior.
    By M.J. Ryan
"This year, Iím going to stop worrying so much."
"I will get in shape, once and for all."
"Iíll stop spending beyond my means."
"Iíll get along better with my family."
"Iíll start that business Iíve always dreamed about."
Have you made a resolution similar to one of these? Some of us want to lose weight, become more organized, or quit smoking. Others want to find a sense of purpose, more work/life balance, the courage to leave an unfulfilling career and start over. Whether itís New Yearís Day, an important birthday, or just because weíre fed up, at some point we vow to make that one leap or give up the thing that plagues us. But by the time the rosy blush of good intentions wears off, the resolution gets pushed aside. Not because we donít still long to have what we want, but because we just donít know how to change.
We say weíre going to
change, we may even do it for a little while, but soon we find ourselves back to our old habits. Depending on what survey youíve paying attention to, approximately 45 percent of us make New Yearís resolutions, but only 8 percent succeed. Ninety percent of heart patients donít stick to the lifestyle changes they need to live longer and healthier lives. Even faced with the dramatic choice to change or die, they canít do it. I donít believe they want to die. They just donít know how to make the choice for life.
Part of the problem is that weíre flooded by bad advice. Right now, Iím staring at a womenís magazine. Itís the November 28th issue and the headline blares: YOU, 43 LBS SLIMMER By Christmas! Iím sorry but you, no matter who you are, are not going to be 43 pounds slimmer in 28 days using their diet or anyone elseís. Such irresponsible "advice" does a great deal of harm. Because it creates
unrealistic expectations, it increases the probability weíll give up before we get where we want to go.
You and I can change. Not just superficially, or temporarily. We can stop doing the things that hold us back or cause us suffering and create a life filled with meaning and happiness. But itís not easy, as anyone who has tried to change a habit or do something new knows.
To bring new behavior into being takes work. Our brains have enormous "plasticity, " meaning they can create new cells and pathways. But our brains create strong tendencies to do the same thing over and over. Hereís why: our neurons (brain cells) that fire together wire together. Meaning, they have a strong tendency to run the same program the next time. Thatís why lasting change takes lots of practice; youíve got to create a pathway to the new
options. (Six to nine months, say many brain scientists-- so much for those seven-day wonder programs.) The process is not about getting rid of bad habitsóthe pathway to your current behavior is there for life, babyóbut building new, more positive ones. Even stopping doing something, like smoking, is really about creating a good new habit, nonsmoking.
Our brain structure is also why youíve got to put external reminders in place, at least in the beginning. Unless we have a trigger from the outsideóa note, a email reminder, a friend who shows up at the door to go to the gym with you--itís very likely youíll keep defaulting to the old behavior because itís automatic. Thatís also why itís so important to be willing to start over no matter how often you blow it or get discouraged.
Do you keep hoping that a magic fairy
will appear to make your dreams come true? That if you just read enough issues of Shape those thunder thighs will disappear? Youíre not alone. Most of us are also not concrete enough about what we want and unrealistic about what we can reasonably ask ourselves to learn.
Hereís what a new client of mine said he wanted to learn in three months: "to be less nit picky and fearful; to be more optimistic, to be more responsible and empathetic; to be more creative; to be more productive; to live a healthier life and to take better care of myself." "How about create world peace while youíre at it?" I replied. "And what does `moreí mean anyway? Even if it were possible to focus on all of this in that time frame, how will you know if you are more of any of these things?"
As this client so touchingly demonstrated, we expect
too much of ourselves and we expect to change overnight. When that doesnít happen, we resign ourselves to staying the same, convinced that we are hopeless, weak, or unmotivated. Which makes us even more stuck. As another of my clients, eager to lose weight, puts it, "Once I eat the first cookie, I figure I might as well go through the whole box."
Top Ten Resolution Pitfalls
1. Being vague about what you want
2. Not making a serious commitment
3. Procrastinating and excuse-makingó no time, wrong time, dog ate homework
4. Unwilling to go through the awkward phase
5. Not setting up a tracking and reminder system
6. Expecting perfection, falling into guilt, shame, regret
7. Trying to go it alone
8. Telling yourself self-limiting rut stories
9. Not having backup plans
10. Turning slip-ups to give-ups
To truly change requires three things: desire, intent, and persistence. You have to identify what you desire enough to be
willing to stick to, make specific, measurable, achievable goals ("stop yelling at my kids" rather than "having more patience," and avoid the common pitfalls (see above).
Armed with these attitudes and behaviors, you can cultivate any new habit or behavior. When you have this invaluable tool in your arsenal, youíre not just getting fit, becoming more patient, or writing that novel. Youíve become empowered to experience greater satisfaction and fulfillment in your life because you can now bring anything you want into being. Youíve become the master of your fate rather than the victim of old choices. Howís that for a Happy New Year?

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